"You're pregnant."
It wasn't a question - he could see her swollen belly for himself - but she nodded.
"Why, Joan? Why didn't you tell me?" Adam asked softly, his eyes betraying his hurt.
Joan hated that she had put that pain in Adam's eyes but she hadn't known what else to do. Not telling him had seemed like the right thing to do. "I - I love you." She looked away from his eyes, unable to bare the silent accusation.
"I couldn't let you give up your dream. You would've stayed and I didn't want you to miss out on an art scholarship because the damned condom broke."
That uncharacteristically crude statement startled a laugh out of Adam. He sobered quickly and looked at her intently, studying the changes. Aside from the obvious, she also looked adorably wet - her dripping hair was plastered to her to head, and she looked more tired and scared than he'd ever seen her.
Scared about how he would react, probably. He considered that. How was he going to react? This girl, this girl he had been in love with for years, was going to have his baby.
His baby.
He couldn't help but smile as the realization sank in. He and Jane were going to be parents. It wouldn't be easy, he knew that, but it was incredible and wonderful nonetheless. He reached out with a tentative hand to touch her belly, pausing to gauge her reaction and proceeding when she nodded.
Joan had missed the gentle way Adam touched her - as if she was precious. She sighed. Seeing him, seeing that he could apparently forgive her even this brought home once again that she didn't deserve him. She'd made the hard decision not to tell him that she was pregnant and still thought it was the right one but she had never, never expected his forgiveness. Their baby finally obliged his Daddy and kicked and Joan smiled a little at the awe on Adam's face. She'd had her own periods of awe and wonder during the last eight months.
"We did that." Adam said, faintly. This tiny person, still growing inside Jane, was a miracle. "We made a baby."
Adam found himself hugging Jane. He remembered suddenly feathers falling all around him and soft lips meeting his own. This, hugging her, was similar: something he hadn't thought about at all and enjoyed immensely. He pulled back, blushing. "I...um..."
"It's a boy." Joan offered, quietly. "I - I want you to know that I was going to tell you about him." She said, slowly. "After you were finished college I was going to contact you..." She paused, smiling a little. "...and tell you."
Joan shook her head, her smile disappearing. "It's not a very good plan, I know but it was all I could think of. I've hurt you so many times. I didn't want to do it again. I know how much you love art and I just...couldn't bare to take that scholarship away from you." Joan stopped as she found herself shivering uncontrollably. Being drenched in a rainstorm was not at all fun.
"You need to get out of those wet clothes. Where are you staying?" Adam paused. "Um...come to think of it what are you doing in New York?"
"Kevin is having surgery tomorrow at New York Presbyterian." Joan said, happily, as Adam slipped his jacket onto her shoulders. "There's some revolutionary new procedure, and if everything goes well, he'll be walking again soon."
"That's great. Are you parents here too?" Adam said, as he glanced out the window of the tiny bookstore. It was still raining and he didn't want Jane to get even more soaked.
"My parents..." Joan trailed off, uncertainly. She didn't want to tell him about her parents, knowing him he would just feel guilty. She would have to tell him eventually though; she might as well get it over with. "My parents didn't exactly react well I told them about the baby." Joan said, softly. "My father pretty much demanded that I get an abortion, my mother wanted me to put him up for adoption and when I told them I was going to keep him they said that if I wanted to ruin my life I couldn't go it under their roof."
Joan sighed. "I was angry-" She snorted, angry was something of an understatement, she had been filled with rage, now though it just made her sad. "-and I took off, without even packing a bag. I showed up at Kevin's apartment in the middle of the night. He and Bec took me in. Kevin went over the house the next day when they weren't home and packed up my stuff." She sighed again. "Neither of us has talked to them since. Bec and I both tried to convince him to tell them about the surgery, no matter how pissed we are at them and they are at us, it's something they should know but he's still pretty angry with them."
Adam stared at her. That she'd been through all that and managed to come out okay didn't surprise him. Jane was a lot tougher than she seemed. That she'd been through all that without telling him hurt. He'd missed being there for her as much as he'd missed having her being there for him. "Well, it sounds like he has a good reason." He said, at last.
"I don't blame him for being angry but I can't help feeling kind of guilty."
Joan said, sadly. "I mean, whatever happens with the surgery my parents will be angry and hurt that he didn't tell them."
"That isn't your fault, y’know." Adam said, watching as the rain finally started to slow. "It was his decision not to tell them."
Joan shook her head. She knew that, she really did, she just didn't want Kevin's life to get screwed up because he was playing protective big brother.
"Well, he'll be happy that I ran into you today. He's been trying to get me to call you for months." Joan smiled.
Adam couldn't help but grin when she smiled at him like that. "It's a good thing it rained today."
"Yeah." Joan watched as the rain stopped. She held out her hand, relief flowing through her when Adam took it without hesitation. She was suddenly fiercely glad that she'd forgotten an umbrella and ducked into this bookstore to get out of the rain.
End.
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of Arcadia