Angels on Earth
by Kaitlin Stokes
chapter four
Joan ran through the doors of the hospital, excited to be returning. It had been four weeks since she started volunteering at the hospital. Although she was only required to volunteer 8 hours a week at the hospital, she found herself coming each day after school let out at two and staying until eight. She simply couldn’t seem to pull herself away from the children she’d grown to love and cherish so quickly.
“Hi Joan, how are you today?” Sarah, Joan’s favorite nurse greeted her.
“I’m fine, how are you?”
“Can’t complain. Most of the kids are in the Play Room, Child Life is working with them today, you can go on in. Have you met Mallory our Child Life Specialist yet?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“She’s a wonderful woman with a beautiful soul, you’ll love her.”
Joan walked into the playroom and found most of the younger children from the Oncology Floor gathered around a beautiful young woman with long blonde curly hair. She was reading them a book about having cancer. Kait and the other older children were off doing their own things. Joan figured Mallory must work with the different age groups separately. Joan scanned the room and spotted Emma, who had already seen her favorite person in the world and was waving madly.
“Hi.” Joan waved, walking to sit by Emma. She was a little embarrassed to be interrupting the session. Mallory simply smiled at Joan as Emma wrapped her arms around Joan’s neck. When Mallory finished reading the book, Emma grabbed Joan’s hand and proceeded to introduce Joan to Mallory.
“Mallory, this is Joan, she’s a volunteer and she’s my best friend.” Emma said, struggling to climb up into Joan’s lap.
“Hi Joan, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Mallory, the Child Life Specialist.”
Before Joan could reply, one of the nurses came into the room and stood before Emma and Joan.
“Come on little one, time for me to hook up some fluids.”
Emma simply sighed at the inconvenience, “Can’t we just do it in here?”
“Nope, you know the rule, no treatments in the playroom, come on now, I’ll bring you right back.” The nurse said as she bent to pick up Emma and left the room.
Mallory smiled, “Wow, she really seems to love you.”
Joan nodded, “Well, it’s mutual, she’s a heartbreaker, all these kids are.”
“I know they suck you in don’t they?”
“Sure do. So what exactly is a Child Life Specialist?”
“Well, our job is pretty much to care for the emotional needs of the child. Growing up in the hospital is not easy. We make sure their minds and souls are allowed to flourish and develop. We work with them on pain management and prepare them for scary procedures through medical play. We also take care of their parents and brothers and sisters.”
“Wow, that’s awesome, how’d you get interested in this? I’ve never even heard of Child Life.”
“Neither had I until seven years ago, I was seventeen and my four year old sister was diagnosed with cancer.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be, I learned so much from her, we all did.”
“Did she make it?” Joan was almost afraid to ask.
Mallory shook her head, “No, she passed away, but that’s why I’m here now.”
“How awful.”
“It is awful, even now, every single time we lose another little one. But let me tell you Joan, don’t give up on this, on them, in the end the lessons you learn are all worth it. I’ve learned that sickness and suffering happen no matter how old or young we are; that having people we love around us makes suffering somehow more bearable; that it takes courage to experience life completely in the middle of indescribable pain; that every second we are alive is important, and our impact on this world is not measured in years. Most importantly Joan, I’ve learned that the most important lessons in life can be learned from infants, children, and teen who never get the chance to grow up.”
“You must really love your work.”
Mallory smiled, “Not as much as I love the kids my work brings to me.”
“Hey Mallory, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Why aren’t they allowed to do any treatments in the playroom?”
“Oh, the playrooms and teen rooms are the kids “safety zones” no doctors or nurses or anyone can come in any of these rooms and do anything painful or scary to them. They have to leave the playroom for that. It’s pretty much their own escape.”
“That’s good.”
Mallory nodded, “And necessary.”
Joan turned as she heard the door to the playroom open. There was Emma dragging her IV pole behind her, “I’m baaaaaaccck!” She squealed, walking over to Joan and climbing back in her lap.
“Hey cutie.” Emma began twirling her fingers through Joan’s long hair, it was obvious to Joan that Emma missed her own hair.
“Well you two, I’m going to go work on some finger paints with the other kids, it was nice to meet you Joan, I’ll see you around.”
“Nice to meet you too Mallory, thanks for talking to me.”
“No problem.”
“So Miss Emma, what are we going to do today little one?”
Emma turned her head to the side and grinned, “Let’s go play with Lexi, she’s sad today.”
“Alright, let’s go then.”
Joan carried Emma to Lexi’s room and peeked inside. Lexi looked terribly thin and frail, her skin was yellow and she was hooked up to oxygen, but she was awake and watching TV. Joan forced a smile as she walked inside.
“Hey Sugar Pie, how are you today?” Joan said placing Emma on Lexi’s bed, Emma was unfazed by her best friends appearance and crawled up right beside Lexi and laid down.
“I miss my mommy.” Lexi replied, huge tears welling in her eyes.
Joan sat down next to her and wiped a tear away, she was surprised at how quickly she’d gotten over the child’s outer appearance. “Where is she?”
“She’s in the adult hospital.”
“Is she okay?” Lexi nodded, “She’s havin’ a baby, I just miss her, I want to go see her but I can’t ‘til the baby’s born.”
Joan nodded, she thought of Lexi’s mother and father, and immediately felt sorry for them, torn between two children. “Well, should we do something to take your mind off of things for a while?”
“Yeah.”
“What do you two want to do?”
“How bout we go to the gift shop?”
“Good idea.” Joan stood, waiting for Lexi and Emma to join her, but neither girl moved. Emma motioned for Joan to come closer to her.
“Lexi can’t walk anymore.” Emma whispered.
“Oh, okay, well, I’ll be right back then.” Joan went into the hall to find a wheel chair, knowing she couldn’t manage Lexi and Emma, plus their poles and Lexi’s oxygen.
Joan ran into another nurse Lisa in the hall, “Can I take Lexi and Emma down to the gift shop?”
Lisa smiled and nodded, “That would be wonderful for both the girls.”
“Can you get me a wheel chair or something?”
“Actually, I have something better.” Lisa said, motioning for Joan to follow her.
“How is Lexi anyway?”
“Not good, I don’t think she has much longer, the cancer’s gone to her liver, that’s why she’s so yellow, she’s jaundice. Ah, here we go.” Lisa said, pulling out a wagon.
“A wagon?” Joan looked perplexed, the toy seemed so out of place around such sick children.
“Sure, the kids love them so much more than wheel chairs, just put some pillows and blankets in there. Have fun with the girls, if you need anything just call up here from a phone downstairs.”
“Thanks Lisa.” Joan said as she began to pull the wagon back to Lexi’s room.
After making sure the wagon was comfortable, Joan turned to the two girls on the bed and said, “Your chariot awaits.” This got a giggle out of Emma and a smile out of Lexi. First Joan picked up Emma, placed her in the wagon, and secured a mask around her face. Then, she carefully picked up Lexi, almost terrified that the child would break right there in her arms. She made sure Lexi had a mask on her face, and put Lexi’s oxygen tank in the wagon with the girls. She was absolutely shocked at just how light Lexi felt, and she wondered how much longer she could hang on to life.
Navigating the wagon and both IV poles down to the first floor gift shop was difficult, but Joan managed. She smiled as she listened to Lexi and Emma chatter about everyday childhood things like cartoons and toys. An hour later, Joan returned to Lexi’s room with two exhausted little girls.
“Come snuggle with us, please Joan?” Lexi asked after Joan had gotten both girls back into Lexi’s bed.
“Yeah, pretty please Joan.”
“I don’t know guys...” Joan said, apprehensive about all the wires and tubes.
“My mommy always snuggles with me, please?”
Joan sighed and gave in, she simply couldn’t resist their huge pleading eyes. She climbed up on the hospital bed and wrapped her arms around both the girls. “Happy?”
Lexi and Emma both smiled and nodded, “Now let’s watch a movie.” Before the previews on the DVD had ended, both Lexi and Emma were sound asleep.
Joan startled with a knock at the door, “Come in.” She called out Sarah smiled when she walked in the room, Lexi and Emma were curled up on each side of Joan, holding hands and sleeping soundly.
“They got you huh?” Sarah asked.
“Sure did.”
“This is just too precious, I have to get a picture.” Both Lexi and Emma stirred with the flash of the camera.
“Hi Sarah.” Emma said, rubbing her eyes sleepily.
“Hey kiddo, your parents should be here in a few minutes so I’m going to take you back to your room so they don’t wonder where you are okay?”
Emma nodded and smiled, excited to know her mommy and daddy had come. Joan had met Emma’s parents, Rachel and Greg, and they were wonderful people who loved their daughter fiercely. Emma hugged Joan and then hugged Lexi and gently kissed her on the forehead, “I’ll come visit you later if I can, I’ll see you later Joan.”
“Okay Emma, see you later sweetie.” Joan said as Sarah helped Emma off the bed and helped her make her way into the hall. Once back in the room, she turned to Lexi.
“As for you Miss Alexandra, you are a big sister.”
Lexi’s eyes lit up, “I am??”
“Yep, your mom had the baby about an hour ago. Maybe Joan would like to take you across the bridge to meet her?” There was a long enclosed bridge that connected the Children’s and Adult hospitals.
Lexi looked to Joan, “Will you Joan?”
“Of course, if it’s okay with everyone else.”
Sarah nodded, “It’s fine, just take her oxygen and bring her back a little later. Let me unhook her from these fluids, she’s done for now. She has to meet her new sibling. Her mother is in room 501 on the 6th floor.”
“Alright, no problem.” Joan said waiting for Sarah to unhook all of Lexi’s tube. She’d never seen so many tubes in her life, but they were necessary in preventing too many sticks and collapsed veins. After Sarah left, Joan wrapped Lexi up in a blanket and picked her up.
“Shall we?”
“We shall.” Lexi said giggling as she rested her head on Joan’s shoulder.
As Joan and Lexi left the Oncology floor, Joan noticed people recoiling at Lexi’s appearance. She chatted with the child, hoping Lexi wouldn’t notice.
“So Lexi, do you think you have a brother or a sister?”
“I don’t know, I hope I have a sister though.”
“Yeah, I always wanted a sister. I got two brothers, don’t worry though, even if you do have a brother you’ll love him just the same.”
“I know.” Lexi said. Joan could feel her little hands on the back of her neck and the rise and fall of her chest against Joan’s. Her breathing was somewhat labored, but the oxygen seemed to be helping a good bit.
Once reaching room 501, Joan knocked softly on the door.
“Come in.” A tired but happy voice called from inside.
Joan turned to look at Lexi and found herself staring straight into the child’s piercing green eyes. She ran her hand up and down the child’s back, “You ready?”
Lexi nodded excitedly and Joan walked in. Sitting on the bed was Lexi’s mother, holding a wiggling pink bundle.
“Hi honey, this is your baby sister.” Joan placed Lexi on the bed and she crawled to her mother’s side.
“She’s cute.” Lexi said, reaching for the baby’s hand, she was in a total state of awe.
“Of course she is, she looks just like you.” Her father said, kissing Lexi’s baldhead.
“Would you like to hold her?” Lexi nodded eagerly as her mother gently handed her the baby.
“She’s beautiful, congratulations, what’s her name?” Joan asked
“Well, we were going to let Lexi decide that.”
The child looked at her mother, “Really?” Her mother nodded.
Lexi thought for a moment, “How ‘bout Faith?”
Her mother smiled, “I think that’s a perfect name, what do you think little one?” Baby Faith burped, showing her approval.
Lexi’s father handed Joan a camera, “Would you mind taking a picture of us?”
“Of course not.” Joan said, startling from her thoughts. She held back the tears as she looked at the picture before her, a new life beginning just as another one was coming to an end much to soon.
After visiting for a little while, Joan and Lexi said there good-byes and Joan carried the child back to the Oncology floor. She gently tucked her into the bed where she had spent much of the past year.
Lexi reached out and grabbed Joan’s hand just as she turned to leave, “Thanks for taking me to meet Faith Joan.”
Joan smiled, “Thank you for letting me take you to meet Faith, she’s lucky you’re her big sister.”
Lexi smiled, “I’m lucky you’re my friend.”
“Not as lucky as I am.” Joan said, bending to kiss the child’s forehead. “Get some sleep sweetie.” Lexi had already started to fall into slumber, her labored breathing becoming somewhat more regular.
“Goodnight Joan.” She whispered.
“Goodnight Lexi.” Joan turned and left the room.
When Joan walked onto the Oncology floor the next day she could feel something in the air, and she knew something was wrong as soon as she saw Sarah’s face.
“I’m glad you’re here Joan.” The nurse said taking her hand. “Lexi died last
night.”