When Grace is Gone
by Zia

The petite blonde woman couldn't breathe, and it had nothing to do with the pristine white corset wrapped tightly around her bodice. She stared at her
reflection, her hair was slightly curled, and topped off with a flower crown attached to a white net veil. Angrily she pulled the crown from her hair and
threw it across the room.

"I can't do this!" Grace Polk cried out and started to pace back and forth across the room she shared with her fiancé. The room she had shared with him for
the last two and a half years. They had been engaged for just as long. "I'm not doing this!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. But it didn't matter, no one
would hear her, Luke wasn't home. She was alone in their small apartment.

She fought with her skirt, and yanked off one of the obnoxious high heeled shoes, then the other. Angrily she threw them across the room. One hit the lamp
on her side of the bed and knocked it over, the other crashed against the wall.

Then Grace started to fight with her skirt again, this time yanking it off before throwing it on the bed. She grabbed her tattered jeans from the bed and
pulled them on quickly.

The wedding was four days away. She was barely twenty one years old, and she was four days away from getting married. What was she thinking? She ran her hands through her hair and then started to unhook the corset and threw it onto the bed with the skirt. Grace grabbed her tank top and yanked it over her head.

With a soft sigh Grace found her boots and her purse before hurrying out of the apartment. She rushed out to her car, Luke wouldn't be home for another - she
glanced at her watch - four hours. She climbed into the car and slammed the door shut, and then just sat there, staring at the steering wheel in front of her.

Her cell phone rang and she jumped. Grace glanced at her purse, and then reached inside and looked at the LCD screen that flashed the name 'Rove' at her. She
pressed the answer button and then lifted the phone to her ear. "Yeah?"

"Hey Grace."
"Adam."
"What?" Adam's voice was full of concern. She never called him Adam, unless something was wrong. "What's up Grace?"
"I need to talk to you."
"We are talking."
"No, I mean. meet me out there? Please? I really need to talk to you." Grace's voice cracked and she clenched her eyes shut tightly.
"Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes." The line went silent and Grace started the car. Eight minutes and thirty seconds later Grace pulled her dark yellow car up
beside Adam's green Jetta. She saw him sitting on the hood of his car, and then got out of her own car and joined him.
"What's wrong Grace?"
"I can't get married." She looked down at the rocks on the ground.
"Have you talked to Luke about this?"
"No. I can't Adam. That's the whole thing. I can't talk to him, I can't marry him."
"Why not?"
"You know why Adam." Grace lifted her head up and looked at him. "I can't tell him because it will destroy him. But I can't stay and marry him."
"Then what are you going to do?"
"I'm leaving. I'm not sure where I'm going, but, I'm gonna leave."
"That will destroy him Grace. More so than if you tell him about.ya know."
"Have you told Joan about it?" Adam looked down at the ground. "I didn't think so. You've been married for nearly a year. you have a child on the way, and you
haven't told her."
"I never will. It was a mistake Grace, and you know that."
"A mistake that happened for over five months?" Grace stood up from the hood of the car and looked at him. "Look, I'm not telling you to tell her. But if I tell
Luke, Joan finds out, and it'll ruin your marriage. And my friendship with Joan. I'm not giving that up."
"But you're leaving Grace." Adam got up from the hood of the car and looked at her.
"Yeah. I'll keep in touch."
"Luke may never forgive you for this Grace."
"I don't want him to." Grace shifted her weight from one foot to the other and looked at the ground. "Just say goodbye Adam."
"No." He responded.
"Then I will. Goodbye Adam. Call me when Joan has the baby." Grace turned around and walked over to her car. She climbed inside, and sat there for a moment, just breathing, before she started it and pulled out of the old empty lot.

--
Grace had been driving for hours. She had no idea where she was. With a stifled yawn she pulled into a gas station and parked her car in front of one of the
tanks. Grace climbed out of her car and headed inside the small market.

After she had grabbed a bottle of soda, and a candy bar she moved over to the cashier to pay for it, when her phone rang. Slightly annoyed Grace reached into
her pocket and pulled out of her phone. Glancing down she realized that the last person she wanted to talk to was calling her. But she knew that she
couldn't just not answer.

"Hello?" She said softly as she handed over the cash for the food, and drink, and gas before quickly head back outside.
"Grace?! Where are you?" Luke's worried voice came through on the line, and she sighed inwardly.

"I'm sorry Luke."
"For what? Where are you? When are you going to be home?"
"I'm not."
"What do you mean you're not?"
"I'm not coming home. The wedding is off. I'm sorry Luke. I can't marry you."
"What?" There was a long silence as Grace climbed into her car and clenched her eyes shut. "Grace? Why? What is wrong?"
"Everything. I'm sorry Luke. But I'm not coming back. I just can't marry you."
She hung up her phone quickly and started her car again. Grace pulled back onto the road and sped off again. Trying to get as far from Arcadia as she could.

----------------------------------------------------------

Luke stared at the phone in shock. He'd been home for half an hour before calling Grace, he expected her to be home. But he had walked into their small
apartment, with dinner on his mind, whether they could go out, or stay home. But her car had been gone. Grace was always home when Luke got home.

She left him? He couldn't even begin to wrap his mind around it. She left him. She wasn't coming back. They were supposed to get married, and she just suddenly
decided that she couldn't marry him. Why the hell had she done that? And why did she feel the need to run away too?

Luke sat on the edge of their bed; her wedding dress was on the bed. He hadn't seen it before. She'd had it for two months, and she wouldn't let him see it. He
touched the silky white material. He didn't understand why Grace didn't want to marry him anymore. Then he thought that maybe Joan or Adam might know. He
grabbed the phone and quickly dialed his sister, and her husband's phone number.

Two and a half rings later an out of breath Joan picked up the phone.
"He-hello?"
"You okay Joan?"
"Yeah, hey Luke, I'm fine, I was upstairs. What's up?"
"Have you talked to Grace today?" On the other side of town Joan Girardi-Rove shook her head as she sat down on the arm of the couch.
"No, I haven't talked to her since yesterday, why?"
"She left me." Joan's mouth fell open.
"What?!"
"I came home and she wasn't here, I called her, she told me that she couldn't marry me, and she was leaving town. Did you have any idea about this?"
"No, of course not Luke! I thought everything was perfect between you too."
"So did I." Luke sighed. "I'll let you go Joan, talk to you later."
The line went dead and Joan hung up the phone. She sighed softly and rubbed her hands over her slightly swollen belly. She tried to think of any reason why
Grace might have decided to leave. But no ideas were coming into Joan's head.
Luke and Grace had been together for so long. A little over four years and slowly Grace opened up more and more to him, they seemed like the perfect happy
couple. Joan wondered if Adam might have a better idea. Grace and Adam were always so much closer than she had ever been to Grace.
Joan got up from the couch and looked at the clock hanging on the wall. Adam had been out in the garage since he got home a few hours earlier. He was building
another sculpture. She had sat in there for a while watching him, before she had come back into the house to finish cleaning.

Adam was brilliant. He managed to sell a sculpture before they had even graduated from high school; Joan had managed to convince him to stay in school
though. He was still taking some classes at the local University, like she was, but his sculptures were popular, and they made enough to be able to afford a
nice, albeit slightly small, two story house.

Joan went to school part time, and continued to work in the bookstore that she had worked in since high school. Adam had proposed right out of high school, a
long engagement, well two years long, before they were married, and now she was four and a half months pregnant.

"Adam, baby, what do you want for dinner?" Joan called to him as she stood in the doorway of the garage. The torch turned off, and then she saw Adam's face as
he lifted up the mask.
"What did you say Jane?"
"Dinner? Are you hungry?" Joan couldn't help but smile.
"Yeah, I'll come in and help in a second. Let me clean this up." Joan nodded, but didn't move from the doorway.
"Have you talked to Grace today?" A loud clattering of metal made Joan jump.
"Why?"
"Well Luke called. he said Grace called off the wedding, and left town."
"Oh." There was a long silence before Adam walked around the workbench and over to Joan. "I talked to her earlier. She. she told me she was leaving. I tried to
talk her out of it, but it didn't work. She didn't want to hear what I had to say."
"This. is horrible. Poor Luke. The wedding is in four days, and she just left. What if. what if something happens to her?" Joan's face crumpled. She was
concerned about her friend. The idea of anything happening to her scared the hell out of her.

Adam walked over to his wife and slid his arms around her waist. "I'm sure Grace will be back in a few days. maybe it's just the stress of the wedding."

"I know weddings are stressful Adam, but not once did I ever consider leaving."
Joan rested her head on his shoulder.
"No?" Adam stood silent for several long moments, absently rubbing his hands up and down Joan's back. "I did."

Her head jerked up and she looked at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. "You did?"
"When I was standing at the end of the isle, waiting for you to walk down it. I was thinking 'What if this is a mistake?' But then you came around that corner,
and I saw you in your dress. And then I knew, you were the best thing to happen in my life."
Joan looked at Adam with tear filled eyes. "I love you so much Adam." She hugged him tight and kissed him softly. "Let's get inside."

--

Grace drove for several hours longer, after she had talked to Luke. Silently berating herself for her stupidity, in everything. Stifling a yawn she pulled
into the parking lot of what looked like a rather seedy motel. She didn't care. She just wanted to sleep.
After Grace got a room for the night she made her way down the narrow walk way to her room. She went inside and was greeted with tacky oranges and browns
throughout the room. Shag carpet, worn curtains that did little to keep the street light directly in front of her room, from casting bright lights into her
room.
But she would live. It was just for one night, then she could go somewhere else. Grace made sure that the door was locked before walking over to the bed and
collapsing on top of it. Her eyes slid shut seconds later, and she quickly drifted of to sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------

Here I'm thin between darkness and light Bleached and blinded by these nightsWhere I'm tossing and tortured till dawn I view visions of you, then
you're gone
Grace slept fitfully all night. She tossed and turned on the five dollar sheets, and even contemplated using the phone to knock herself unconscious, anything in
hopes of sleep where she wasn't reliving all of her mistakes.

Annoyed she rolled over and glanced at the clock. 6:36 am. "Dammit." She muttered and sat up. Sleep wasn't going to be coming back to her. Grace climbed
off the bed and went into the bathroom. She slammed the door and turned on the water in the shower. She had hopes that a shower would help calm her nerves, and
then she could stop for something to eat, before getting back on the road.

After a long shower, Grace climbed out, shivering slightly. The water had run cold before she pulled herself out of the shower. In there she was able to
forget about everything else. Forget about Luke, Joan, Adam, the wedding that she just called off. She had been so excited about it. Planning had been so
stressful, but once she'd put the dress on, it made her feel so much better.
But that was over now. So much for her wedding. Grace wrapped the towel around her body and looked at her reflection. She knew that she was a horrible person.
She was hurting everyone, but if she'd stayed, it would all be worse. Tears filled her eyes and she suddenly let out a quiet cry.

Grace pulled her car in front of the small diner that was just down the street from the hotel she was staying. She climbed out and noticed a 'Help Wanted' sign
on the door of the diner. Quickly she walked inside and up to the front counter where a young woman, no older than Grace, with deep red hair stood. "For one
today?" The girl asked.

"Actually, I was curious about that help wanted sign. What are you looking for?" Grace asked her, and then glanced at her name tag which read 'Chloe'.
"We need a new waitress. Do you have any experience?" Grace shook her head.
"No, but I'm a fast learner."
The petite red head smiled. "I'll go get daddy, he does all the hiring." She turned around and hurried into the back room, with a bounce in her step.

Grace watched her go, wondering what she was doing. She wanted away from Arcadia, and she was, but still close at the same time. A day of driving and
she'd be back. but she didn't want to go back. She couldn't go back.
But Grace knew without a doubt, when. if Adam called her when Joan had the baby, she'd go back. Just to see the baby, then she'd leave again, hopefully without running into Luke in the process. But that was months away. Joan was only four months right now.

An hour later Grace had eaten breakfast, and was dressed in a short pink uniform, like Chloe's, with her hair pulled back by two clips from her face. The
uniform was way to short for her personal tastes, it barely fell mid thigh, and was adorned with a black apron, and topped off with a silver, sparkly name tag
that read 'Grace'.
Chloe walked around with Grace, showing her everything, while explaining anything she might need to know about waiting tables.

--

Luke pulled his car up in front of a small dinner and raked his fingers through his hair. He headed into the diner and glanced around. He saw a waitress walking
through a swinging door, then seconds later another came through.

"Hi." She smiled at him. "What can I do for you today?"
"Hello. I'm just wondering, do you get a lot of people stopping in here?" Luke asked the girl after glancing at her name tag.
"Yeah, I guess so." Chloe shrugged a little.
"Have you seen this woman?" Luke handed her a piece of paper with a picture of him and Grace on it. Grace was smiling. It was one of the few photos he had of
her that she was actually smiling in.

"Uh. we get a lot of people in here. I don't think I've seen her. Why?" Chloe asked him cautiously.
"She's my fiancé, she uh. disappeared a few days ago, and I can't get a hold of her."
Chloe gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry. I don't remember her."
"If you see her, my cell number is under the photo. Please call it." His voice cracked, he felt so lost. "Thanks." Luke sighed before turning around and
heading back out of the diner.

Chloe watched him go out to his car, then seconds later pulled out of the parking lot. "He's gone." She called and then the now brunette Grace Polk walked
out of the back room.

"Thanks." Grace bit her lip as Chloe handed her the paper. Her eyes shown with wetness as she looked at the smiling picture of the two of them from a year
earlier. "We were supposed to be getting married today."
"Why did you leave?"
"Because. I cheated on him." Grace's voice cracked.
"Oh." Chloe looked at Grace who had bowed her head to stare at the floor. "But why did you just leave?"

"Not only did I cheat on him, but I'm pregnant." Chloe's mouth fell open. "And I don't know which of them is the father."

----------------------------------------------------------

Grace stood behind the counter at the dinner, her hair had grown quite a bit, and fell past her shoulders, and she kept it the shade of deep brown that it had
been since she arrived in the small town three months earlier. She was now living in an apartment across from the diner. Chloe's parent's owned it also.

Absently she twisted her engagement ring around her finger. She couldn't bear to take it off, she honestly still loved Luke, but she couldn't be with him knowing
that she could be pregnant with another man's child.

Her cell phone rang, causing her to jump in surprise. No one called her cell phone. At least not when she was at work, and then it was always Chloe, but
Chloe was standing on the other side of the diner, serving an elderly couple that always came for breakfast.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, on the LCD screen was a name that hadn't been there in three months. Adam. "Hello?" Grace asked
cautiously.
"Jane is in labor."
"But she's not even eight months along!" Fear ran through Grace's veins like ice.
"I know. just get here Grace. Please." Adam's voice pleaded to her through the line and Grace nodded.
"I'll be there." She hung up the phone and saw Chloe hurrying across the diner towards her.
"What's wrong?"
"I have to go. Joan went into labor. I'm sorry. I just . I have to go." Grace grabbed her jacket off the coat rack and ran out to her car and started speeding
down the highway.

Grace yawned tiredly as she pulled onto the off ramp that would lead her down the main street of Arcadia, directly to the hospital. She glanced at the clock,
it was after eight p.m. She had been driving since seven that morning. She was tired. Exhausted. Drained. She just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for about
a week. But more importantly, she had to check and make sure Joan was okay, that Joan and her baby were okay.

Grace climbed out of her car after finding a parking place at the hospital, suddenly very aware that she hadn't changed out of her short uniform. She wasn't
sure they would recognize her even. Short skirt, shoulder length brown hair. She looked so. girly.

Pulling her jacket tight around herself she walked inside the hospital. "I'm looking for the maternity ward." She said softly to a nurse that sat behind a
oversized desk.
"Down the hall and to the right." The older woman smiled at Grace and she nodded.
"Thanks." Grace stepped back then headed down the hall, then turned right at the first large corridor. At the end was another nurse's station. "Hi. I'm looking
for Joan Rove's room."
"Grace?" Grace looked up and saw Adam standing a few feet away. "You came."
Grace nodded slightly before Adam engulfed her in his arms. Slowly Grace wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm so glad you're
here Grace." Adam told her softly.
"How is Joan? The baby?" Grace asked moving back from him slightly to look up at his face.
"They're both fine. Jane is in that room, Baby Jane is in ICU." Grace couldn't help but smile.
"Jane?" Adam shrugged, and then nodded. "It was Joan's idea."
"Ya know this means you're going to have to call Joan something different now.can't be confusing the two of them."
"Her name is Elizabeth Jane. we're gonna call her Beth."
"That's a good name." Grace smiled. "Can I see Joan?"
"Yeah, she's sleeping right now. So be quiet." Adam walked with Grace down to Joan's room and Grace walked in and sat down in the chair beside her bed.
The anxiousness was building her in stomach. She was afraid Luke would show up. Of course he would, this was his sister.

"Grace Polk is wearing a dress? That doesn't fall past her knees?" Joan smiled drowsily at her friend. "Hey. Glad you made it."
"Hey. you feeling okay?"
"I'm worn out. but I'm okay." Grace nodded and then bit her lip. She wasn't sure what to say. "Grace. Adam told me about the affair." She jerked her head up and
looked at Joan with wide eyes. "He told me about it last night."

Grace opened her mouth, and then closed it again. "Oh." Quickly she stood up.
"I. need to go."
"Grace stop."
"No. look, I appreciate that Adam called me to let me know that you were having the baby, I'm thrilled you're both okay, but I need to leave."
"I want you to stay." Joan sat up slightly. "I'm not mad. okay. I am. but you're my best friend, Adam is my husband. I love you both. And. I forgive you for it."
"You shouldn't." Grace said wrapping her arms around herself.
"Maybe not, but I do. is that why you left Luke?"
"Part of it."
"What's the other part?" Grace looked down at the floor, and kicked at the spotted tiles with her white tennis shoes. "Grace?"
"I'm pregnant." Grace blurted out unintentionally. She hadn't wanted to tell anyone. She still wasn't showing. She could leave and no one would know, but too
late. Joan knew, and Joan would probably tell Adam and Luke.
It was Joan's turn to stare in shock, her mouth opening and closing several times before closing and furrowing her brow. "You don't know which of one the
father is do you?"
Grace shook her head before slowing walking back over to sink down into the chair. "That's why I couldn't marry Luke. I couldn't marry him knowing that I
was pregnant, and that it might not be his. I don't want to lie about it anymore. I did it. I'm not proud of it but. it happened, and I have to face the
consequences for my actions. And if it is being alone for the rest of my life. or carrying a child that doesn't belong to the man I love. so be it."
"What are you going to do?"
"Leave. Go back to where I've been staying. I have a job there, and an apartment, I actually made a friend." Joan smiled faintly.
"I'm so proud. What about the baby?"
"I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion. I'll have this child. I guess if it turns out to be Luke's I'll let him choose whether he wants custody or not."
"And if it's not?"
"I don't know yet. That's mostly up to you and Adam. Do you want a child around that isn't yours? A reminder of a mistake you made?"
"Is that what it is to you?" Joan cocked her head to the side.
"No. This is my baby. I'll love him or her, no matter who the father is."
"Then why are you so willing to give your child up?"
"Because I don't deserve to have this child. It was conceived in the middle of a huge lie."
"How can you think that Grace? That you don't deserve a child you are carrying? You got pregnant for a reason. I know it."
"Right. I don't think so Joan. I got pregnant because I was stupid. I love my child, and I always will, but that doesn't change the fact that I know I got
pregnant because of my own stupidity."
Joan sighed. She wasn't getting anywhere with this. To her relief Adam walked in seconds later. "Hey." She smiled at him and he walked over and kissed her
tenderly.
"Here. baby's first photos." Adam handed Grace a picture taken obviously minutes after Joan gave birth, baby sleeping against her mother's chest before she was
taken to ICU.
"She's beautiful." Grace murmured. "I'll um, leave you two alone. and Joan? Could you not tell anyone about. ya know?"
Joan nodded and watched as Grace left the room. "You okay?" Adam asked her quietly and she nodded.

----------------------------------------------------------

Grace started to walk down the hallway, back the way she came, towards the exit. She was tired, she just wanted to get a hotel room for the night, and then she
could leave. But as she walked down the last passage she realize that there was no way she was getting out of there alive. Luke was walking towards her,
thankfully he hadn't seemed to have noticed her yet.

She couldn't help but look him over, he looked good. Grace was tempted to throw her arms around him and beg for his forgiveness, but she couldn't. She swallowed
hard, tightened her jacket around herself and continued walking.
"Luke." Glynis came hurrying up behind him, a smile on her face. Grace watched, frozen in her spot, as Luke took one of Glynis' hands in his, and kissed her.
She was shocked. Luke had moved on. With Glynis. Seemed like the perfect choice. Slowly Grace began walking again, hoping that she'd continue to go unnoticed.
"Grace?" Luke stood beside Glynis, still holding her hand, looking at the woman that was once his fiancé, wearing a short dress, with longer, darker hair. She
froze in her tracks. It was her. "Glynis do you mind."
The other girl shook her head and walked down the hallway, leaving the two alone. Luke turned his attention back to Grace who had turned to face him. "What
are you doing here?"
"Adam called. Told me Joan was in labor. I came to make sure that they were okay."

"Oh, so you'll answer the phone for Adam, but not your own fiancé." Fear spiked through Grace. Was it possible that he knew? Had Joan told him about the affair?
"Yeah." She murmured.
"Why did you leave like that Grace? And you stopped answering your phone when I called. Do you have any idea how scared I was that something had happened to
you!?" Luke's voice rose slightly, from anger, and worry.
"I'm sorry Luke. But I had to."
"You had to? You had to leave four days before our wedding without a good bye, or an explanation?!"
"Luke please, just. I am sorry! I can't." Grace sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Can't what Grace?"
Tears filled up her eyes. "You really want to know why I left?" She asked, and Luke nodded. "I was cheating on you Luke. For five months, I cheated on you. I
was standing in our room, in my dress. and it all came crashing down. I betrayed you. So I left. Figured you wouldn't want me around if I told you. But I
couldn't bring myself to actually tell you, so I figured I'd leave you with something, other than complete hate, and disgust of me."

Luke stared at Grace, his jaw clenched. "You were cheating on me?"
"Yeah."
"With who?" Grace shrugged a little.
"I don't know."
"You cheated on me, and you don't even know who he was?!"
"I'm sorry." Grace murmured before turning and hurrying down the hallway towards the exit. Luke rushed after her and grabbed her arm. He pulled her back towards
him and forced her to look at him.
"That's all you have to say? You cheated on me, and you say 'I'm sorry'?"

"What else do you want me to say?!" Grace yelled at him. "Get down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness? Plead for you to take me back? From the looks of
things, you don't want me anymore. You've got Glynis now."
"You're just leaving again?"
"Yeah, I am. I'm going to get a hotel room, get some sleep, and then I'm leaving in the morning."
"Where are you going?"
"What do you care Luke?"
"We'll I'd like to know that you at least have a place to stay."
"I have an apartment." Grace told him softly. Luke always was caring. "That place. the one with the diner that you came by on. I work there. live in town.
I'm fine. I hope that Glynis makes you happy. She's always had a thing for you."
Luke sighed and shuffled his feet. He was still angry with her. She cheated on him, she left him, but she had come back, and she was still beautiful. She
looked so different, it had only been a few months, but she was different, and beautiful. "She does."

Grace swallowed the lump in her throat. "Good. Goodbye Luke." She watched him for a second longer before turning and continuing out to her car. She climbed
inside and wrapped her arms around her stomach.

END

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